Hold Your Tongue

Raise your hand if you've ever held your tongue. Raise your hand if you've wished you had held your tongue. I don't mean in the literal sense.

We've all been in both situations. I have learned to do it more to keep peace, to risk not hurting someone's feelings or to simply prevent myself from being a gossip monger. I learned in business school that it isn't necessary to always have something to say. Sitting back and listening is just a valuable. But in those cases where you don't agree with someone or the person says something nutso in your eyes, you need to quickly weigh the value of speaking up or letting it pass.

This happened to me recently. Long story short, this mother felt her son sang very beautifully when in reality, he was so off key, it made the audience cringe. She said he had been taking voice lessons and was so proud of him. Thank goodness we cannot read each other's minds because I was thinking, "Whoa lady, were you listening to the right kid?" But I simply nodded and tried to say something positive about the performance. It was enough to muddle through the conversation and move on.

We tend to argue or one-up people with whom we are close, such as parents or spouses. This is where the rubber hits the road in terms of being able to stop yourself from trying to get in the last word and prevent a full-fledged fight. I think people pick fights when trying to establish some level of respect from the other person. I will attest to that.

My answer to this is the respect will come faster without the snide remarks, hurtful comments or need to toss out the last word. It is a skill to turn a potential argument on its head. It can also be transferred into the business setting. It's called, don't be defensive.

This is easier said than done, but feel free to take the shortcut to freedom and learn to hold your tongue. You will be happier, and believe me, so will others.