Thursday, July 29, 2010

Growing Up




“…If growing up means
It would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree,
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up. Not me.”

We all know those words from “Peter Pan.” And as I look to becoming closer to the age of 50 with every passing day, I realize that I have never really grown up. Sure, I do grown-up things like work and manage a house, but I also love to play.

“…I don't want to wear a tie.
And a serious expression
In the middle of July.”

Who really wants to wear a serious expression when it’s a glorious 80-degree day?! I drop my son off at camp in the morning and am slightly jealous that he’ll be able to play and be outdoors for the next six hours while I sit at a computer. Yes, I had my day, but who says I still can’t have my fun?

I love to play catch with Ari before camp and take him to the ballpark in the afternoon, or go swimming. I have even been known to join a playdate if the boys need an extra for wiffle ball. On the weekends, we’ve been going bird watching at different places, such as Drumlin Farm , The Broadmoor and the Mt. Auburn Cemetary.

We also enjoy reading together, going to movies and playing games. Quite simply, I love spending time with him. Maybe I am adult enough to appreciate this.

That is not to say I don’t love spending time with my daughter, Abby. She is mature for her age and fun to talk with, but she has different tastes. Instead of playing sports or going bird watching, she would rather go shopping, or better yet, invite a friend to go shopping, even on a beautiful sunny day. One day this spring, when I really didn’t want to go shopping, I said to myself, “Hey, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” I have learned that I need to let Abby be Abby. It keeps the peace.

On this day in spring, I let Abby and her friend go to a few stores, while I bought some lunch for myself and hit a couple of stores on my own. Pretty soon, I received a call from her that they were hungry and would I meet them at Au Bon Pain. We met, and I showed them what I bought. They liked one item and nixed two, so they went with me to pick out other clothes. I ended up shopping with them and having a ton of fun.

There is a line between being a parent and being your children’s friend. But I have found you can blur that line, and it can give you credibility and respect. For the most part, when you want to do what they want to do, you’re validating their interests, and you’re allowing them some freedom.

You cannot spend every waking moment with your children. That isn’t healthy for you or them. They need to socialize with their peers, and so do you. But it is really important to spend time together. Sometimes they can do things you want to do, and other times you can make the plans. Balance it out.

The other day, we visited Abby at camp. She will be spending 3 ½ more weeks there. I know she’s having a grand time, and it’s the best thing for her, but I miss her. Next year, Ari would like to go to overnight camp for a half session. That means I won’t have any children at home for 3 ½ weeks. Holy cow. I might have to play with the kids down the street.

“…'Cause growing up is awfuller
Than all the awful things that ever were.
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up,
No sir,
Not I,
Not me,
So there!”

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Will on-court coaching help or hurt?




I have been thinking about this topic for a while and… I believe on-court coaching should be allowed in professional tennis during the game changeovers. There. I said it.

There are many so-called purists who feel that it is totally inappropriate, such as this writer.

Then, I found this article from 2008, saying that on-court coaching will be allowed at all women's tournaments next season, apart from the four grand slams.

I cannot think of another sport which doesn’t allow coaching. Even golfers have a caddy to whom they can turn for a little advice. Doubles players (tennis) can help one another. Why is singles so special, so pure?

The event that triggered this thought was Serena Williams’ outburst in last year’s US Open. I think that if she had had a coach on court, he or she might have been able to step in for damage control.

Additionally, we all see players looking up at their coaches and families during a match. And many times the TV will pan in on the coach making some sort of motion. So, at least make it legitimate.

I do not expect that a coach will have in-depth conversations on the odd games when players switch sides. But the coach can give a pointer or two, and maybe offer a little strategy. The player will still be the one doing the work on the court.

A USA Today article in 2006 noted,” Fairness is another issue because many players can't afford to travel with coaches. Some coaches work with more than one player, creating potential conflicts of interest or at least awkward situations.” This point is well taken, But I think a tournament could supply a coach to any player who doesn’t have one. As far as a coach who works with more than one player, that can get tricky, but I think it’s doable for a coach to work with more than one player during a tournament.

The article in The Telegraph says that the fans tuned in will be able to listen to the coach’s comments. This could be very interesting and either trump the commentator’s analysis, which might be a good thing, or complement it. We might hear commentary on the commentary.

My good friend and teammate Lyn Calkins, who is an excellent singles and doubles player, remarked, “[Singles] is a very lonely game. That's one of the reasons it's a turn-off for a lot of kids, (i.e, my first-born, who prefers being on a team). Honestly, I think that's why I'm enjoying doubles so much these days.”

The bottom line is that tennis players must love to practice and love the competition. The pros must also encourage the fans to keep playing and learning. On-court coaching can level the playing field and keep fans actively engaged and growing with the sport.