Parenting by the stages; can we ever catch up?

I have been a parent for a little more than 12 years. So, I could go on a limb and say I’m seasoned. Thing is, as soon as I have figured out one stage of a child’s life, his/her life and maturity changes, and I need to readjust to another stage. Quickly. If someone with an infant were to ask me a question, I might not be so seasoned anymore.

At first, parents worry more about the child’s basic needs, the physical needs. Is he eating enough? Growing enough? Pooping enough? Will she suffocate in the crib?

We turn around, and we worry the child will swallow a button and choke to death or put a bead up his nose. We know the child can make decisions, and we try to teach right from wrong in a very general, black and white sense. Another turn, and we worry he’ll fall off his bike and break a limb, or get teased at school. We’re now moving more into the “the child is independent, but we still need to watch over him” and into the emotional health.

It’s hard to write this and not get choked up. I remember when they were born and watched their every move. The first smiles. The first crawls and steps. The outings when it seemed like we needed to take everything with us just in case. Registration for kindergarten. First day of 1st grade. Hebrew School consecration. I have tears in my eyes thinking about it.

My son did put a bead up his nose. Fortunately, he knew how to blow it out. And not too long ago my daughter fell off her bike and hurt her ankle. Thank goodness it wasn’t a break. These are small and part of growing up- physical and emotions. It all seems easy in hindsight. These days, I’m talking with my children about sex, and saying no to drugs and alcohol. More than ever we pray that they will make the right decisions when we’re not around.

I think the good thing about parenting is that we get a little smarter at each stage. Sure, we can get baffled by some actions and reactions. But overall, we can think a little more quickly on our feet based on past experiences and what will sustain for the longer term. We try to be consistent in what we say and do.
By working hard for the past decade, we have begun to raise two smart, outgoing and sensitive children. They are our pride and joy, and they can drive us up the wall. But isn’t that the challenge? We raise our children to be independent thinkers, to question and to fight for what they think is right. Why should I stop them from doing that with us? Maybe getting more TV time isn’t exactly what we meant by fighting for what they think is right, but it’s a start.

Will we ever catch up? Probably not. As we raise our children, we also raise ourselves as parents. I wonder what tomorrow will bring? No time to worry.