The Pursuit of Happiness

Earlier this month, I read and heard about a study about happiness. For me, if it has to do with happiness… humor… anything of that ilk, I want to know about it.

The article quoted Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a coauthor of the study and a professor of medical sociology at Harvard Medical School, as saying, "Your happiness is not just about your own choices and actions and behaviors and thoughts. "It's like there are emotional stampedes that ripple across this infinite fabric of humanity."

I would like to turn your attention to one part: Some findings seem made for a sitcom about family life. While a cheerful next-door neighbor increases one's likelihood of happiness by 34 percent, a happy spouse who lives in the same house contributes just 8 percent. The authors said happiness seemed to spread more through same-sex relationships, and suggested that might help explain the neighbor effect.

That 8% is troubling. Do spouses and family members feel they don’t have to be cheerful with one another? Are we of the mind that the people we live with must love us? Richer or poorer. In sickness and health. Happy or grumpy?

Maybe so, but it wouldn’t hurt to put on a happy face at home and be the one to cheer your spouse, son, daughter, mother, father or whomever you live with. That person shouldn’t feel he or she must go next door or down the street for kindness and support all of the time. Granted, we all need to vent. We aren’t always in the best mood. When one person is down in the dumps, another could help pick up the pieces. And we all reveal things to a good friend about a spat or problem at home to try and get an objective opinion about a solution. But I don’t think that should be the main source of one’s happiness.

My point? This might fall into the category of why we should eat at least one meal as a family to talk, share the day’s highs and lows, and try to understand what’s happening in one another’s lives. Good communication is the key to any relationship. Have you asked your spouse or children lately, ‘How are you?’ or ‘What did you do today?’ and really meant it? If not, try it. See what happens.