"What if..."

How many times have you said to yourself, ”What if…?” in the past week or month? You might have said it in the context of, “What if I say x? What will the other person think?” Or “What if I hadn’t eaten that second piece of pie? My pants probably wouldn’t be more snug right now.” Or “What if I had written myself a note? Then, I wouldn’t have forgotten to buy toilet paper when I was at the supermarket today.” We all play mind games with ourselves. We question our decisions or choices. We even question others’ decisions or choices. We ask if we could be doing something better.
Some “What ifs…” are more about learning, such as, “What if I had studied harder? I might have done better on that exam.” That is a learning opportunity and is a positive experience.

Others are more about paying the consequences of doing something. This is more serious and can result in a more negative experience. “What if I hadn’t sent that email to the wrong person? I might still have my job.” Eeks. One this is common to each of these examples, we have control over the process and the outcome.

Two events in my life over the past week have made me think the “What if…” in a more serious way. “What if my cousin Bobby hadn’t been driving on Monday night? He would still be alive now.” And after watching the advanced showing of the movie, The Road, I stepped outside, looked at the glitter and glamour of Legacy Place in Dedham and asked myself, “What if an apocalypse really did happen?”

I know neither of these events is in my control, but I still think about it and tease scenarios in my mind. What really happened in Bobby’s case? Would I be able to survive on nothing and protect my children?

I believe these situations make us feel more alive. They wake us up and remind ourselves about how fortunate we are to have what we have. We are present. We are living and breathing.

“What if..” can drive you crazy. “What if…” can make you a better person. Which one will you choose?