Thankful for the small stuff, even when they come in threes

The phone rang at 5:15 yesterday morning. At first, I wasn’t sure if it was Abby’s alarm or a dream. Brad answered. “uh huh, uh huh.. she’s right here.” “It’s your mother,” he said. “Oy, I thought.” I figured no one died, thank G-d, but I knew it was something about Ari. He had slept at my parent’s house the night before. Was his fever up again? “Hi, what’s up?” I asked. “Ari has a bad stomach ache. He’s been up since 4 a.m. on the toilet.” “Well, I replied, do you think he’ll go back to sleep? Do you want me to pick him up? Put him on the phone.” “Hi Mama, I have a bad tummy ache.” “Hi Boo Bear, want me to pick you up?” “Yes.” [said with slight drama]. I spoke with my mother. “Can you take his temperature? Have him ready, I’m coming now. Thanks.”

So, I got dressed and picked him up. Fortunately, my parents live only 15 minutes away. Driving at that hour reminded me of going to the airport to catch an early flight. I was sorta awake, as I had gone to bed fairly early the night before. Very few people were out. It was eerily dark. Can anyone really tell if it is the evening or early morning? I thought about what to do in this situation. He wasn’t running a fever. He wasn’t throwing up. He didn’t have diarrhea. I made a mother’s guess that this was not ER worthy, maybe doc worthy. I decided it was gas that needed to find its way out.

When I arrived, they were sitting at the bottom of the stairs near the door. Ari’s head was on my mother’s lap. I filled up my water bottle with warm-ish water. In the car, I made him drink as much as he could. When we got home, I put him into bed with Brad as I had a tennis game in 30 minutes. Hey, nothing was going to happen in the next hour anyway.

During my tennis game, he called, “Mama! I made it! Can I go to Ben’s house?” “Great! Sure. I’ll drive you there in an hour.”

Score one for the small stuff.

Just about 12 hours later, I was taking a much needed shower. The phone rang. Brad then called through the door, “It is Abby. Carly’s mother thinks she has poison ivy.” “Oh no! Call the doctor’s office and see if they’ll still be open when you pick her up. If they’re not open, go straight to CVS Minute Clinic or talk with the pharmacist.” I finished my shower in a hurry and quickly changed the sheets on her bed, as well as all of the towels. Then, I called Brad. He said it didn’t look like poison ivy, but rather a rash from when she had shaved in the morning. Sure enough, it was just a rash. She shouldn’t use shaving cream anymore. I got on the phone with Abby. “I’m going back to Carly’s house,” she said. “Good,” I said. And you can use Dove soap when you shave from now on. Have fun.”

Score another one for the small stuff.

Fast forward 20 minutes. I decided to check email while waiting for Brad. I was starved, but we were going to go out for dinner, so I didn’t want to eat too much. Just enough. I decided on a chunk of Gouda cheese. One chunk wasn’t enough. “One more small one.” In my slight rush, I not only took a chunk of cheese but also sliced my left ring finger and some of my thumb. “Oh, this is terrific.” I usually pass out with this kind of thing, but I didn’t. I actually studied the damage and realized I would be able to keep the fingers and likely not need stitches. The thumb was a grazing, so that came second. I wrapped the ring finger as tightly as I could in a towel and laid down. The skin was intact. During all of this Ari was oblivious, playing video games. I took two Advil and we went out for dinner. After dinner, we watched a movie, read and went to bed, fingers intact although a little achy.

Next morning, my fingers hadn’t turned gangrene. I went to spin class and yoga. I can type.

Score a third for the small stuff.

My point: Things come in threes. Think about it. You’ll see what I mean. At the time, each incident consumes you. When it passes, it’s another notch on the life continuum. Fortunately, my incidences were small compared to the horrid illnesses people face and the ongoing problems the world faces.

And I am thankful for the small stuff.

Ashland Middle School Rocks

Last night, I attended the Ashland Middle School Open House and was blown away by the enthusiasm, creativity and commitment of the teachers. My daughter recently started 6th grade there and has been very positive about her experience so far. I can see why. My daughter happens to be on Team Sun. The other team is Moon. This is a way to manage the students in a more organized and personal way.

During the Open House, parents first met in the Little Theatre where we heard introductions from the team of teachers. Even “Gym” is now called “Wellness” and integrates nutrition and health issues into the physical education element. The students get a survey course for French and Spanish to help them decide which language they would like to focus on. Students are placed carefully into Math and Language Arts classes. Science is extremely hands-on, and Social Studies is more than maps.

Parents then followed a schedule to each class where the teachers gave a presentation about their goals and approach. Two words that came to mind (I think I’ve been in tech too long): transparency and consumer empowerment.

Not only did the teachers share curriculum, but they also tied it into the requirements from the Board of Education. I came away with a connection to the school and the teachers. We’re in this together to offer the best education possible.

At the same time, it also pulls the parents more closely into our children’s education. We are empowered to act. We know their philosophies. We know what to expect. We know where to go if she needs help.

The rest of the story is that a couple of years ago, a couple of people scared the heck outta me about the poor quality of the Middle School. Suffice it to say, it gave me pause. But I wanted to wait and see for myself. I had attended a couple of introductory sessions with the school principals and was very impressed by the amount and quality of communications we received prior to our daughter starting 6th grade. This gave us hope. Last night’s Open House solidified my confidence that she is in the right place. It’s now up to her to take advantage of the opportunities and do her job well.

My point: Don’t believe everything you hear. Take responsibility. You could be pleasantly surprised.

Can social media save lives?

Here is a story in ZDNet that intersects healthcare, security, patient privacy and rights, and social media. How I Tweeted My Way out of Spinal Surgery.

Long story short, Twitter and the iPhone very well might have saved Sarah Cortes’s life by “helped her escape from the clutches of hospital staff whom, she claims, tried to intimidate and coerce her into accepting unnecessary spinal surgery.”

It started with “Trapped in hospital in rural Pennsylvania, fractured spine. Need a neurosurgeon in Boston.”

What ensued was very fast, almost unbelievable action by Paul Levy, who also straddles the healthcare and social media world, and other physicians.

There are many holes in the story as it is told. And Cortes admits to deleting the Tweets, but it appears the hospital acted selfishly and wasn’t necessarily thinking about the patient’s best interests as evidenced by the result. It raises a scary question about the intent of some of the physicians and hospitals.

This situation is most unusual. Cortes is a technology consultant and blogger, associated with ISACA. For anyone to get such quick action without a usual referral and waiting period is unheard of. It seems that this situation ended up being a test on social media as much as an exercise in proper healthcare.

One can dice and slice this in many directions, but one conclusion I would like to make is: question authority. A patient must be her own best advocate. Ok, maybe that was two conclusions.

Serena, Have Some R-E-S-P-E-C-T

What is a winner? Is it just the number of matches won? No. A winner is also someone who is a fierce competitor, gives 110% on the court for him/herself, sets goals and is disciplined. The discipline part not only implies training, but also how one handles oneself on and off the court and upholds sportsmanlike conduct. A winner shows respect for him/herself and the game.

Serena's outburst at the 2009 US Open

Serena Williams, one of the most talented and intense players in tennis, lost her temper badly last night at the USOpen semis match against Kim Clijsters. The score was 4-6, 5-6 and 15:30 when she served a second serve and it was called a foot fault by the line judge. At first, Serena seemed to calmly get another ball and prepare to stave off match point. Something she is perfectly capable of doing. Instead, she exploded at the lines judge, dropping F*** bombs and going into one of the worse examples of unsportsmanlike conduct displayed on the tennis court.

The tourney directors and the umpire called the lines judge to the chair to relay her side of the story. After some conversation, most of which was inaudible by the fans, we saw Serena cross to Kim’s side of the court, extend her hand and let Kim know she just won. Kim was shocked and wasn’t sure what to do but shake hands and sit down.

According to the rules of tennis, if a player threatens or curses any of the umpires or lines judges, he or she gets a warning. Since Serena already had a warning because she smashed her racquet in the first set, her next warning meant a penalty point. And since it was match point for Kim at 15:40, it was the end of the match.

After the match, cameras tried to get footage of Serena backstage. Although her entourage kept the cameras from filming for any length of time, we saw enough. Serena was laughing with her sister and looked slightly cavalier about the whole thing. She then spoke at a press conference, answering questions. My hopes were shattered when she admitted John McEnroe to be one of her main idols and she didn’t regret the outburst.

Here are some questions I have been thinking about:

1. Was the line judge right to call the foot fault?
Yes. I believe the lines judge was doing her job. Both Venus and Serena were having trouble with their serves all tournament. This call didn’t come out of the blue.

2. Was the tournament referee right to enforce another warning to Serena and thus a penalty point?
Yes. Serena isn’t bigger than the game. She had already displayed horrid behavior in the prior set, received the warning and was on the verge of trouble. Serena should have learned from that and moved on. She could have used that energy to focus on her match. Easy to say, I know. But I have seen her do it.
3. If Serena had had a coach, would she have been able to better control her anger?
Yes. I am a proponent of players having a coach on the sidelines to consult with at odd games. I might be missing something, but I cannot think of another sport where a player is banned from getting coaching at certain times of the game. Even doubles players can talk to one another and strategize. But a singles player is alone. That certainly adds to the difficulty and excitement of the game, but at the same time, it puts them at a disadvantage. Taking this moment in time, a [good] coach would have been able to stop Serena from getting herself into deeper trouble. No one can say how the match would have ended had Serena’s outburst not happen, but at least it would have ended the way a tennis match should - with the winner feeling the sweet satisfaction of earning a berth in the finals and the loser virtually passing along the torch, showing grace and courtesy.

4. Did Kim win the match or Serena lose the match?
Kim played outstanding tennis. Period. She had Serena on the defense and truly was on her way to winning the match despite any outside forces. Serena wasn’t playing as well. I will not bore you with stats, but suffice it to say, the numbers spoke for themselves. Kim deserved the win either way. But I also wonder if Serena took the side of “she’s not going to beat me, I am going to lose,” thereby taking away some of the “defeated” status in Serena’s eyes. I have no proof of this, but psychologically, it takes the edge away from the loss.

My point: Serena should carry all the responsibility for what happened. She should issue a formal apology to the USTA, the USOpen execs, the lines judge and to Kim. Serena should also write an article to her fans, particularly the younger crowd, explaining why her behavior was intolerable and encouraging up-and-coming players that to be a true winner takes discipline on and off the court.

Best of luck Kim (Clijsters) and Caroline (Wozniacki). I know it will be a clean match tonight.